All change - Miss to Mrs!

This was always going to be a weird update. If you have followed my blog so far then this post may shock you or surprise you, or not... let's see. 

Thing is I was not UNhappy. You can see that from my previous posts but things started to change and I didn't seem to be as happy as I should be. Turning 30 was amazing but it did make me think quite a lot about where I was and where I wanted to be. The ticking biological clock was getting so loud that almost my every thought was TICK-TOCK-TICK-TOCK. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that Mik and I had been together for almost 10 years at this point and it seemed naturally like the 'next step' in our relationship, plus I wanted a baby! But EVERYTHING seemed to be getting in the way. My passion for the next fitness challenge had somehow extended to Mik and while it was great to have a training partner, my challenges were running out, my passion for training was waning and I really, really wanted to enjoy my life more without worrying about the next meal plan, run, swim or bike ride, while Mik's love of triathlons was growing exponentially! In my head, the Phuket triathlon of November 2012 was my final big blow-out to push my body to its potential (at that time) and then, relax. Enjoy life. Start a family...

Feel the pain as I finished the Phuket triathlon

It was not happening like that though. Mik and I were growing apart. With my frustrations unsolved part of me carried on regardless. The Go Eco Phuket event that I mentioned in my last post (September 2012) was a huge success and literally catapulted me into near-fame in Phuket! It was not meant to be like that but it was great to see real awareness raised of Phuket's Eco-issues, in particular marine debris around the very Island that I had come to love. This did add to the stress on my relationship with Mik though. I didn't feel it at this stage, but I know he did. I was stressed, I was busy and those niggling frustrations (see above) were still chewing me up. I really wanted his support, and although I may have been wrong, I didn't feel like I had it; not for anything I wanted to do anymore, except triathlons! My life was all triathlon training and then December 2012 arrived.

Go Eco Phuket September 2012 - there I am

Mik's parents visited for Christmas. I was so looking forward to this; my first 'family Christmas' in more than a decade. Again, it didn't go quite as I imagined. On the one hand it was wonderful. I really like Mik's parents; they are caring, they are kind and they are creators of the perfect/ideal family (that my parents somehow didn't manage). The Jennings have been happily married forever! An inspiration! However, one conversation from their visit really stuck. 'Babies' were mentioned and very quickly brushed away as they gave support to the relationship Mik and I had at the time; no kids, 2 incomes and lots of time to enjoy ourselves doing whatever we wanted. But that was just the thing, I wasn't enjoying that anymore.

Meanwhile I was working A LOT at the dive centre. I was actually living FOR the dive centre most days. It made me happy but also, the sad fact that it was my life was making me sad. I loved the people there; the staff, the customers, everything... more than I loved being home. Throughout January Mik and I knew something was wrong and we talked about it, I took time out of the dive centre to try and fix it but it had gone too far.

At this time there was one thing, or rather one person who was making me happy. That person is Alex and here is the shocker... he is now my husband. 

I fought it and fought it and fought it. There was no way that anybody was going to come between the almost 10-year relationship I had with Mik. No way. I told Mik about Alex. I told Mik what I thought was happening. But Mik seemed to hate Alex even before any of this. With hindsight maybe he could see what was happening and that made him so resentful. I'll never know but had Mik been stronger in giving his support (instead of as he was with Go Eco Phuket) my reaction may have been different. Instead, whether he was pushing me away or I was pulling away, I really only felt happy and stress-free when I was around Alex. I wanted to make Mik and I work but more and more there were signs that it was over.

The last Go Eco Phuket event I did - August 2013

The start of 2013 therefore was horrible. I got angry with Alex and told him to get lost on more than one occasion, saying I never wanted to see him again. I was saddened and disappointed by Mik because he didn't seem to want to 'pick up the pieces'. I know it is as much about me but I really needed showing the way at this point. I was in love with two men! One I had been with for all of my adult life, never wanted to hurt and felt generally so comfortable with, I could never imagine my life without him (or his family). The other seemingly loved me like I had never felt loved before, he loved and supported every strange thought or passion I held and literally made me feel like ME (where I had felt a bit lost before). In the end, from the sadness and torture, I had only one choice and that was to chase my own happiness.

Nothing against Mik, nothing at all. I still love him in many ways but not the way he wanted me to or the way he deserved. It still saddens me that we don't have that much contact now due to the awkwardness that has developed between us. 

In the end I couldn't make him understand me anymore and in April 2013 I sadly packed my things and moved out, not really knowing where I was heading. If I had been looking for a sign at that time, it was the relief I felt as I unpacked my things into a small room in Chalong. Like I said, I was never UNhappy with Mik or my life in Phuket but the relief I felt on making a move towards giving that 'old life' up was reassuring at a time when I needed it.

I couldn't fight anymore. I didn't want to. Part of the relief came from accepting my own happiness and Alex was making me happy. At this time Alex was willing to do anything for me which while it was all very flattering, I could not let that happen. I did not want that. One of his anythings was that he would quit his corporate life to become a Diving Instructor in Phuket, while I carried on my much-loved life in Phuket. Now I had to be honest. It was not that I did not love Phuket anymore but I had been living in Phuket from the age of 21. I had literally grown up there. It is an amazing place to live but I could not get past the fact that I felt my life had expired there. I had done all I wanted but I could not see how I could progress there. Small progress could always be made but I was not living my life how I wanted and progress was too slow. I was missing being closer to my good friends and family in Europe. I was missing some amount of 'normal' life such as having weekends (not working 24/7), having important holidays off such as Christmas, Easter etc., enjoying long summer evenings... I was even missing being cold sometimes! I wanted a family but I wanted a family to be born out of happiness with more security than Phuket could ever give me or our family. Finally, it was time... "Alex, I don't think I want to be here anymore. I don't think you do really. What now?"

So many friends in Phuket!

May 2013 I was flying to Germany. It was part of my 'conditions' if you like. I wasn't going to commit my life to being with Alex if away from Phuket we were different. Let's be honest, Phuket is a small Island with expats a-plenty but it is not real. I can't really explain that to people who have not experienced it but you are thrown together with people that normally you would not meet, or have anything to do with. This is no bad thing actually! The long-term expat population is kind of slim in the 20-40 age range which means I was in the minority there anyway. You have the sea, the sun, constant dinners, drinks and friends around you. Honestly, it is paradise... but what happens outside of that? What happens when the sh*t hits the fan? Alex is German, I am English - what happens when we see each-other in our own cultures, surroundings and friend networks? Things could go horribly wrong! I was scared!

Many thanks to my boss for helping me with life in Munich

I should not have feared. In Germany my boss offered to let me give up my Dive Centre Manager job in Phuket to take up my new post in the Head Office in Munich. Alex already had an apartment in Munich... so I had no excuses! My dream of moving back to Europe could not have been easier, it had been handed to me on a plate.

With so much to catch up on, I am going to miss out some beautiful details here but I have to say that the last year has gone perfectly. From strength to strength I am making progress and I am still totally happy with Alex (even in his culture and with his friends). Ha! Actually I am doing really well. So many things slotted in to place, it is almost freakishly perfect.

I really want to blog my wedding day because it was amazing so until next time let me bring you up to date with the last 12 months in brief!

June 7th (early hours of 8th) 2013 - Alex proposed and I said YES

Alex then agreed to take a short-term 3 month job contract in South Africa which made sense as I would need this time to wrap up my life in Phuket properly.

July 2013 - I visited Cape Town for a week and we stayed at Mont Rochelle Vineyard for Alex's birthday. It here I had a moment of "I could get married here". Cape of Good Hope was also done at this time. Absolutely beautiful!

August 2013 - I visited Dubai for a week as Alex had been transferred there for his work. Amazing trip involving diving, going up the Burj Khalifa, and lots of food!!

September 2013 - Alex along with my friends Lindsay and Patrick met me in Singapore for the Formula One Race. We then traveled back to Phuket to pack the rest of my things and...

30th September 2013 - I left Phuket and bound my flight to Munich for my new life!

October 2013 - I visited UK to explain the 'new life' to my family and friends there. Also celebrated my Dad's birthday with him for the first time in years! I returned to Cape Town to finally choose Franschhoek as the location of our wedding.

November 2013 - I started full time back at work for Sub Aqua Dive Center (Head Office Munich)

December 2013 - Christmas time and I spent Christmas in the UK for the first time in 11 years! Also made a quick trip to Cape Town to confirm La Petite Dauphine as the venue for our wedding.

January-February 2014 - Stressful time with German language courses, wedding planning etc.

15th March 2014 - I married Alexander Christoph Kiel at La Petite Dauphine, Franschhoek, South Africa in bright sunshine with family and friends that could make it. Gorgeous day and here is just one picture to share until next time...

15th March 2014 - I became a MRS

Summer update...

Dear oh dear, I have slipped up. I somehow did not post anything in June so now I owe an even bigger update!

In May, there was the visit to Udonthani. To be honest, this was a wash out since it did nothing but rain solidly for the whole time we were there. We did a lot of eating and drinking and that was about it.

In June, I went to the UK. The primary reason for going to the UK was for my friend Lindsay Mennell's wedding. I was Maid of Honour and was thrilled to bits to be a part of the wedding and to see so many people that I had not seen in so long. Here we are... bridesmaids and groomsmen together. We were quite the team!

Ok, so the weather looks not so bad in that photo but honestly, it did rain a lot. Here are the photos to prove that despite it being June, the British are not having a 'summer' this year! 14 degrees in June... eh?!

My Dad's car thermometer (sorry i can't rotate the photo!)

From Phuket to UK in June - wrap up warm!!

Unfortunately due to being so wrapped up in the moment, I can't provide you with a photo of the Bride but believe me, she looked absolutely stunning! Hopefully some photos will get to me soon and I can let you all see.

Other highlights of my visit back to UK included watching the Euro 2012 Football Tournament with my Dad and while that might sound like a perfectly normal thing, anybody that knows my Dad will know that he HATES football with a passion. To prove it happened, I took photos (see below)... turns out he had recently bought a new TV and LG were offering 10 GBP refund on any goal that England scored. I think he got 50 quid back in the end! I was just happy it meant that I could watch the games and Sue (his girlfriend) even provided us with pie, peas and a pint! Happy days.

Me at my Dad's house with pie, peas and a pint!

Pie, Chips, Peas and the England match!

Also I was back in the UK for June 17th 2012 which was special to me for two reasons; firstly it was the first Father's Day I had been able to spend with my Dad in many years and secondly, I was taking part in the Cancer Research UK's Run For Life campaign at Lister Park in Bradford.

Me before the Cancer Research UK Run For Life 5km

Everybody gave it their all - really great!

And after all that running, it was time for a treat. I planned to take Dad to Harewood House for the Car Show but that was postponed due to rain so I took him to Betty's Tea Rooms in Harrogate instead. He had never been before so at almost 65 years old I introduced him to a proper cuppa and a scone!

Betty's Tearooms, Harrogate

I only had a few days more in Yorkshire... Spent some quality time with my Mum and she treated me to my fix of fish n'chips with my 'little' brother. I use inverted commas because I can hardly call him LITTLE anymore. Look...

Me and my not so little brother!

My UK trip left me with mixed emotions. I really noticed that the UK itself is struggling financially like I have never seen before - a lot of good pubs have closed down, tons of empty offices for let and even one of the biggest banks in my town was boarded up. Everything was really rather raggy... even finding decent fresh vegetables in the supermarket at one point proved a challenge. It seems that the type of thing to thrive in times of crisis in the UK is cafes and sandwich shops - they were everywhere and always had people in them! Another thing to lift the mood of anyone visiting the UK right now is the whole 'British' fever - the Union flag was being flown everywhere with the London Olympics coming up and 2012 being the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Year. It was awesome! Even the cereals boxes, tins, packets etc in the supermarkets were all jazzed up with the Union Flag and you could buy some brilliant Union Flag cookies/cakes in all the bakeries. I loved that. To return home and see all the Britishness and people genuinely proud to be British, along with everything that is deemed British. Great.

For me, my family are in the UK. I can never hate going back to the UK because each time I go back, I spend time with my family and even if I am 6000 miles away most of the time, it does not mean I am trying to avoid them! This makes every moment I spend in the UK all the more special... although it makes me feel incredibly guilty when I have to leave. I just have to remember that in reality, the UK has nothing to offer me at this time in my life in terms of my career and my prospects. I can't live there just because that is where my family are. I would be miserable! If I have to move back to Europe, I think I will choose somewhere with better weather too - 2 days in England and my nose was streaming and I felt dreadful which made me decide I am actually allergic to the UK. Ha!

More of the mixed emotions came from one person I had left behind in Phuket. In over 8 years, I have never been this far from Mik for so long. It was strange to see my family, some of my closest friends and of course have Lindsay's wedding without Mik being by my side. You live and you learn... Now back to where my heart really is... Phuket...

Mik and I back on the road in the sunshine

Lost in Thailand? Not if you are a girl!

I don't like to blog about other blogs or other websites for that matter. However there is one particular website/social network out there that really deserves a plug. Please forgive me, this once.

My personal blog was set up to keep my friends and family up to date with my antics but more and more I see people worldwide taking a look. Then recently I was approached by Chicky Net, the social network for (expat) women living in Thailand and asked if I would do an interview for them to publish on their site. I had no problem with this. Further, I was happy to help the growth of what I see as a very useful tool for women thinking of moving to Thailand or already living in Thailand.

I'll be honest. When I first moved to Phuket, I was not a huge fan. I worried, have i done the right thing? That was easily answered with, well, if you've screwed up just get on the next plane home! But worse, you are without family (although my boyfriend did move across to Phuket with me and my family at the time had enough issues so a break was most welcome). You are without friends (but you meet people very easily in Thailand with everybody seemingly so friendly). And finally, it all seems so terribly untidy after the relatively civilised and ordered life of the UK. I know some of you will think me mad for referring to life in the UK, or indeed most places in the Western World as civilised and ordered but seriously, come to Phuket... exposed electrical wires lining the streets, shops and restaurants with only 3 walls and no doors... I could go on! Strangely, men appear to seamlessly adapt to this untidy lifestyle but we girls I believe experience something different. We are less comfortable with not speaking the language of the country we are in, and we are further distrubed by having abandoned the familiarities we once took for granted. 

This is where Chicky Net steps in.

Simply put Chicky Net is a social network that only accepts women into its arena - no fakes or phonies allowed (much to the frustrations of many men living in Thailand!). There is a useful classified section where I personally have sold items from our house within minutes of posting. This is much to Mik's complete amazement - he says it is witchcraft! Ha! There are also groups that you can join by your own nationality or interests, for example Sporty Chickies for those wanting to meet up with a few girls to play tennis or badminton or whatever else might be suggested. There is a forum where you can post questions about life in Thailand and you can get decent replies from other women in Thailand that have experienced/are experiencing similar issues. We even share recipe ideas! You name it - help with your Thai visa questions, need a house to rent, have a house to rent, found yourself with too many unwanted pets, want to meet new people, want to find and try new restaurants, want some advice on health or insurance or where to get a good leg wax(!)... It is all on Chicky Net!

I'll admit that I rarely have the time to attend the Chicky Net social events that I see posted to the network regularly but for women who feel lost in Thailand, this network can only be a great thing! For me, Chicky Net is a most welcome and useful tool for women in Thailand. Everything is that bit more accessible, that bit easier and I can only imagine, that bit more fun for those who have the time to be more heavily involved.

That is it. I have said my piece. There was no Chicky Net when I first arrived to Phuket almost nine years ago but I am happy that it is there for Thailand's (expat) women now.

Stay posted because I am off to Udonthani on Tuesday to celebrate James and Ning's 2nd wedding anniversary. You can see how much fun we had last time when we attended the wedding by reading my previous blog post "Wedding Thai Style - am I married? " . This post also goes further to explain why I am currently pondering, is this MY 2nd year wedding anniversary too?!

Turning 30...

30 and loving it!

Many people get depressed on birthdays. I don't. I think birthdays should be celebrated more than anything else. I mean, you are celebrating the fact that you have made it this far in this world. What is depressing about that? For me there is no point in complaining about getting old. You just have to get on with your life and enjoy every moment of it, so when I recently turned 30 I wanted it be a memorable time for everybody. I HAVE BEEN HERE 30 YEARS! YAY! LET'S CELEBRATE!

And that we did. It was amazing. Really. I could not have been made any more happy and my family/friends made me feel the most loved person in the world, to the point that I almost feel guilty. I will never be able to thank those involved enough. You think i am exaggerating? Check this out...

The day began quite sedately. I got up, had some breakfast with Mik and opened my lovely cards and some presents that had been sent by family around the world. I got some lovely gifts and I loved the present from my brother-in-law and family that was a report of all things happening at the time I was born, 1982. Then I had to go to work at SUB AQUA Dive Center, Karon Beach, Phuket. I was there on my own for a good couple of hours and then the owner of SUB AQUA came to join me bearing gifts. This was quite the surprise but it was nice to finally have some company after being far too excited to do any real work on my computer.

At about 17:00 Mik arrived looking mysterious. I asked, "where are we going?". "Why are you smiling like that?" Now at this point i should mention that I was fully aware that I was having a 30th birthday party in the evening of my birthday, 24th March. I was also fully aware that my birthday present was to be a Honda Phantom motorbike that I had been eyeing up for quite some time. But on the 23rd March, Mik told me that I had to prepare all of the things I may need to get me through my birthday... and the next day. This should include an 'overnight bag'. Hmmmm... Now I am really excited :-)

So here I was. It was time. SURPRISE... Well, not quite yet. First I wished my 'big boss' farewell and wished him a safe return to his family in Germany. Then I locked the office. Then i clambered on to the back of my soon-to-be-old Honda Wave 125 motorbike and let Mik take me wherever! To be honest, it looked like we were going home and the whole things was to be a disappointment or a wind-up but I should have known my lovely boyfriend better as he drove down to Nai Harn lake and then took a left up a slope to the most amazing villa. He joked, "I've bought you a house!". There outside was my new motorbike shiny and complete with red ribbons - photo......

Now that is a birthday present!

Then there was this...

You too can stay here - http://www.thevillas-phuket.com/gallery/index.php/Crystal-Villa

Wow! The reality hit me... or it slowly crept upon me as I stood speechless in this house that I had just been told was "mine" for the next 2 days!

Words do not cover it. This villa was perfect for my 30th birthday.

Mik had rented this place for not just the night, but two nights! He had arranged with the staff at SUB AQUA Dive Center that Kerry was having 2 days off and that they had to deal with it. I was being utterly spoilt rotten for a couple of days and loving it!!! Mik handed me a beer, gave me the tour and then istructed me to sit beside the pool. Happy does not cover it. I was elated... and I burst into tears of joy (not for the last time that birthday!).

Work over. Beer at the side of "my" pool! Happy!!!!

Mik had even thought to move all my cards across to the Villa so I could spend some time enjoying all the good wishes.

To be honest, I did not want to leave but I had a party to attend and I was told that I could make full use of the Villa later and the next day. So I had a perfect phone call with my 'old' friends from school, Lindsay and Alexis, telling them all about the villa and also congratulating Alexis since her wedding day in UK was the same day as my 30th Birthday. It was a shame we couldn't all be together on this day but we will be soon when Lindsay marries in June and I couldn't stay sad for long. I was on a right rollercoaster of emotions! So time to party and didn't we scrub up well?...

Mik and I ready to head to my 30th birthday party

The party was amazing too. So many great friends made it out and much to my surprise, I received some lovely gifts including spa treatments, cash to by my own, scarves, facials, jewellry, wine... Really. I am not just saying this. I just wanted people to come and celebrate with me. I never expected a pile of gifts as well but I hope that Mik and I threw a big enough party that everyone had a fun, memorable and happy time. We all certainly seemed to be enjoying ourselves and there was even a bit of KERRY-OKE!

Those photos say it all. At 01:00am Mik and I decided it was time to leave everybody partying and retire to the Villa. It must have been perfect timing because I had a remarkably clear head the next day and was able to party some more with dips in the pool, wine pretty much on freeflow and the company of good friends James, Ning and Baby Joshua! My head was not as clear the day after that one!

Mik trying to lose "the fear"

Not our baby! Mik with Baby Joshua

Here are Mum and Dad, Ning and James

The clock says 20:30 and we had been at that wine all day!

Me chatting to Wilkie and Laura (friends in UK)

Me getting some last minute relaxation in "my" pool

This was by far the best birthday celebration ever. It would have been nothing without Mik, my family and my wonderful friends that quite simply overwhelmed me with their kindness and loving birthday wishes. If this is what turning 30 is all about then I suggest you all embrace your birthdays. Create moments like these and you will never be depressed on a birthday again. I am one lucky girl.

Special thanks goes to Tracey Samantha Burr who does an excellent job of making anybody's stay in Phuket hassle-free and memorable with her Villas in Naiharn. Please visit her website here and please 'like' The Villas on Facebook. The Villas and Tracey made this birthday girl a VERY happy girl and if you are looking for a place to stay in Phuket for a real treat without breaking the bank, The Villas in Nai Harn is where you need to be. You won't regret it. (I had a housekeeper/cook for goodness sake!!!)

Late blogging...

I'm back... just. The high season is in full swing in Phuket. I'm actually pretty tired and in need of a break now but I wanted to give you some photos. This will go some way to giving you an update since my last post. So here is a summary of what has been going on with me and my life in Phuket...

December - January saw Mik and I celebrate Christmas and New Year. We even went as far as buying a new Christmas tree this year but most of it was work work work. I cannot complain, this is the best time of year for the diving industry and Sub Aqua Dive Centre in Karon (where I am Manager) had a great couple of months! Back home at our place, Mik and I managed some treats kindly sent to us from family and friends in UK. As presents to ourselves I bought Mik a new Trek 3900 mountain bike and he got mine a complete make-over after my Dad kindly boxed it up and sent it to me here in Phuket.

Presents from family under the tree with my sparkly Xmas shoes

Awesome present from my MUM - Huddersfield Town garden gnome!

Our new Christmas tree complete with presents from family in Spain and UK

Here is my bike - could not get new front forks to match but happy to have it back in my life and working

And here is Mik's shiny new bike complete with fancy disc brakes

Also through January and into February we got involved with the Rawai-Naiharn Dragon Boat Club. It means we have new friends that are not just divers (as much as i love my scuba diving friends) and it helps in our endless crusade to keep ourselves fit (or get fit!). The club have monthly quiz nights that are always a laugh and good social events such as the BBQ we had on the beach last Sunday but here we are doing what we were all brought together to do!

And from February through to March there has been much dragon boating and working. Work hard and play hard and all that! I actually managed to go out diving myself which is not something I do too often since i am generally Managing the Dive Center rather than actually out diving. Of course I had to get some memorable photos to prove it and to show you...

Hanging out on Racha Noi's plateau - spectacular soft corals and current!!!!

Me and my buddy head into the current above these beautiful pinks and purples

No manta this time... but the great HUMANta

A captain never abandons the ship - unless of course he is Italian!

Just hanging - a great relaxing day out of the office!

That brings you up to date since that dive only took place last week! I must mention that the diving photos were all taken by a visiting Instructor Philippe Lecomte and I am happy that he was willing to share them with me and you.

I guess the next post will have to be after my 30th birthday party which takes place exactly 2 weeks today. Crikey! Time really does fly. Ciao for now!